Shrek's 30 Funniest Quotes

Summary Shrek's sarcastic and witty lines make for some of the funniest moments in the franchise.

The Shrek movies are filled with innuendos and adult jokes that provide something for audiences of all ages.

The friendship between Shrek and Donkey is one of the highlights of the franchise, and their banter never gets old.

Numerous hilarious Shrek quotes prove why DreamWorks' fantasy comedy franchise is considered a classic. Shrek is easily one of the most iconic animated characters in the past two decades, making his debut when the first movie premiered in 2001. Mike Myers's stellar performance as the ogre undoubtedly elevated the character and franchise's popularity. However, Shrek subverts the fantasy genre's clichés due to his heroism (as an ogre) when he's given a chance to save a beautiful princess — who also turns out to be an ogre. Ultimately, every Shrek movie contains quotable moments that will be remembered for many generations.

With Shrek 5 in development, it seems as if the big green ogre's place in pop culture isn't soon to be relinquished. Shrek made DreamWorks Animation a household name, and, over 20 years and four films later, they remain as influential as ever. It's been a full decade since Shrek Forever After, the franchise's most recent entry, premiered. But audiences are always ready for more witty quips and dry jokes from this hapless hero of fabricated folklore. While waiting for Shrek 5, fans can return to the kingdom of Far, Far Away to relive some of the best Shrek quotes.

Shrek Movies Release Date Shrek May 18, 2001 Shrek 2 May 19, 2004 Shrek the Third May 18, 2007 Shrek Forever After May 21, 2010

35 "A Stack Of Freshly Made Waffles In The Middle Of The Forest?"

Shrek Forever After

The Shrek movies are known for their meta references to fairy tale tropes, and many of the funniest Shrek quotes come when the franchise leans into its roots as a satire of classic stories. For example, in Shrek Forever After, as the title character and Donkey are out in the woods and see a beautiful stack of waffles, Donkey is excited. But Shrek can see that it's some kind of ploy.

In an old Hans Christian Andersen story, the characters would blindly fall for a trick like this. However, Shrek points out how absurd and on-the-nose this trick is. Still, Donkey's dumb enough to fall for it – and he established his love of waffles as far back as the first movie.

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34 "I Already Had A Big Bowl Of Curly-Toed Weirdo For Breakfast."

Shrek Forever After

Given his appearance, Shrek finds that many people assume the worst after meeting him. After a while, however, he embraces their presumptions about him, often replying to their fears with witty retorts. This was certainly the case the first time he met Rumpelstiltskin in Shrek: Forever After, who wondered if the ogre would eat him. Though Shrek replied to Rumpelstiltskin's panicked cries with a great retort, this line still shows how difficult his life is when dealing with those who fear him.

33 "Inside, Waiting For Us To Rescue Her."

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As Shrek and Donkey explore the formidable tower, Donkey wonders where the rumored dragon is, and says, "So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?" Shrek quips "Inside, waiting for us to rescue her." Of course, Donkey gives his traveling companion some bombastic side-eye for this little remark. It's one of the many Shrek quotes that are character-defining, and Shrek immediately assumed that Fiona would be the worst based on previous interactions with humans.

32 "If You Think This Mad Scene Ain't Dope, I Feel You, Dude."

Shrek The Third

One of Shrek's best quotes in the Shrek franchise comes from an interaction with Artie in Shrek the Third. Though Shrek seems to have a good sense of what it is like to be a teenager, he certainly doesn't have the appropriate lingo for it. In a feeble attempt to relate to Artie, Shrek dusts off some old phrases and makes up a few new ones. Watching the grumpy ogre attempt to see eye-to-eye with a typical high schooler will never get old, especially after he crashes and burns, setting up one of Artie's best lines:

"I've been kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me!"

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31 "I Like My Privacy."

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Shrek's privacy is the most important thing to him when the audience first meets him during the first installment in the Shrek franchise, and he says as much when Donkey follows him to Shrek's swamp. Donkey comments on the ogre's warning signs placed on the outskirts of the swamp, and Shrek explains how he likes living alone with no one bothering him. Thankfully, that changes as the movie goes on, but this quote sums up Shrek's personality at the beginning.

Shrek won the Oscar for Best Animated Feature in 2001, and the movie was the first recipient of the award.

30 "I Didn't Know We Could Do That."

Shrek Forever After

Shrek discovers an entirely new talent when he meets his ogre brethren in Shrek Forever After. Shrek is confused when he meets Fiona, now in charge of an ogre militia bent on ending Rumpelstiltskin's reign. Brogan is the first to greet Shrek, welcoming him to the resistance. When Shrek questions him about this, Brogan states that they fight for oppressed ogres everywhere, then holds his nose and blows, causing his ears to act as a trumpet. The rest of the ogres follow suit, resulting in the protagonist admitting he had no idea he had that ability.

Related 22 Years On - Why The Shrek Soundtrack Is Still So Good Shrek has become iconic for many reasons but one unforgettable and significant aspect of the 2001 film’s success is its needle drop soundtrack.

29 "Well, My Stomach Aches And My Palms Just Got Sweaty, Must Be A High School."

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The funniest Shrek quotes aren't relegated just to the first film. In Shrek the Third, Shrek, Donkey, and Puss in Boots learn that the future King Arthur is in Worcestershire. As Donkey pontificates about what the place may be, Shrek notes a familiar feeling, with his stomachache and sweaty palms confirming that Worcestershire is a high school. Even though Shrek almost certainly didn't attend high school in his teenage years, this line is nevertheless spot-on for anyone who has. Shrek's signature sarcasm and reliability once again deliver one of his funniest lines in the franchise.

28 "Join The Club. We Got Jackets."

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Some of the best Shrek quotes usually involve the title character being wildly misunderstood. The same goes for this Shrek 2 gem, as Puss in Boots soon realizes that Shrek isn't as easy to defeat as initially thought. Harold initially sent Puss in Boots to assassinate Shrek. Once Puss in Boots realizes he's no match for Shrek, he says, "Stop, ogre! I have misjudged you." Shrek busts out one of the funniest Shrek quotes, saying, "Join the club, we got jackets." It's yet another reminder that Shrek is used to being misjudged to the point he's become sarcastic about it.

27 "It's Time To Pack Up Your Toothbrush And Jammies. You're The New King Of Far Far Away."

Shrek The Third

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Following in the traditions of the fairy tales that inspired them, the Shrek movies usually revolve around Shrek and Donkey going on quests, and it's from these experiences that the best Shrek quotes are born. In Shrek the Third, Shrek and Donkey seek the heir to Fiona's father's throne after he dies. The heir's name is Arthur — or "Artie," and he's played by Justin Timberlake. When Shrek arrives at Artie's school to take him back to Far Far Away to claim his throne, the other students assume he's there to eat him — and then they're disappointed that he's not.

26 "Cute, Button Nose? Thick, Wavy Locks? Taut, Round Buttocks?"

Shrek 2

Shrek's twist came halfway through the first movie when Fiona was revealed to have been cursed to be an ogre unless she received true love's kiss. So, it made sense to flip that twist in the sequel and have Shrek drink a potion that turns him into a handsome human, prompting one of Shrek's funniest quotes. As he wakes up and discovers his human features — and that Donkey is now a majestic white stallion — he lists off everything attractive about his new body, such as an adorable nose, a thick head of hair, and a "taut" rear end.

25 "You Know, Donkey, Sometimes Things Are More Than They Appear."

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Shrek's soft side may not be in full swing in 2001's Shrek, but he gets somewhat emotional with Donkey during their first overnight on their journey to bring Princess Fiona to Lord Farquaad in Duloc. The two are looking at the stars and Shrek points out a constellation of hunters running away from an ogre's stench, but Donkey claims that he's making it up. Shrek responds, "You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear."

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24 "Actually, It's Quite Good On Toast."

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In the opening scene of Shrek, a group of villagers gets together with their torches and pitchforks to kill the local ogre. Attempting to rile his friends up, one villager says that the ogre will "grind your bones for its bread," and one of the best Shrek quotes comes when the ogre corrects him. He casually says:

"Well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres – oh, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin! They'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast."

Naturally, Shrek's shocking retort is enough to paralyze the mob in fear. They run from the ogre, leaving him in his swamp all along, which is how he likes it. So, one of Shrek's first lines in the record-breaking Shrek franchise is also one of his best.

23 "How Do You Explain Sgt. Pompous And The Fancy Pants Club Band?"

Shrek 2

The funniest Shrek quotes are usually inspired by the ogre poking fun at his surroundings. "Shrek" and "fancy" are two words that rarely go together, as was certainly the case when Fiona's parents sent a brigade of buglers and presenters to the swamp to invite the two ogres to Far, Far Away. Seeing this display of pomp and pride, Shrek and his Scottish accent had a few choice words for the king and queen's attendants. This line provided color commentary from the signature sarcastic ogre and set up the disparity between Shrek and his in-laws that would carry throughout the entire sequel.

22 "Look At Him In His Wee Li'l Boots!"

Shrek 2

Antonio Banderas' Zorro-like portrayal of Puss in Boots quickly became just as beloved as any character from the first movie when he joined Shrek and Donkey in Shrek 2. His technique of looking adorable with gigantic eyes to get his opponents to drop their guard before launching an attack on them is fool-proof. It worked on Shrek and Donkey when they first encountered him in the woods and Shrek said one of his most memorable quotes, and it would also work later in the franchise. The feline proved to be so popular that Puss in Boots got his spin-off series.

Related Why Puss In Boots 2 Looks So Different To Shrek With a focus on stylized storybook action over realism, the Shrek spinoff's sequel recalls Arcane: League of Legends and the Spider-Verse before it.

21 "You're Going The Right Way For A Smacked Bottom."

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Among the many threats against Donkey, his accent makes this one better. According to CBR, Mike Myers took Shrek's Scottish accent from the voice his mother used to use when she read him fairy tales as a kid. He recorded his lines for the first movie with a few different accents, mostly from different regions of Canada, and they couldn't find a voice that fit. According to Shrek trivia, it cost the studio millions of dollars to keep reanimating the movie to suit the new voice recordings. In the end, he found the accent that suited the character: Scottish.

20 "I Live In A Swamp! I Put Up Signs! I'm A Terrifying Ogre! What Do I Have To Do To Get A Little Privacy?"

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Shrek does everything in his power to keep the outside world away from his precious swamp. He has signs surrounding his home, and the environment is inhospitable. However, that doesn't stop the fairytale creatures from getting evicted from Far, Far Away and setting up camp in Shrek's home. Incredulous at the number of creatures suddenly in his area, he goes over the exhaustive work he's done to keep people away from him. It's within Shrek's character development and narrative arc not to be so isolated, but the quote is an example of his character in the beginning.

19 "Hey! I'm No One's Messenger Boy, All Right? I'm A Delivery Boy."

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Shrek and Fiona don't get off on the best foot when he rescues her from her tower in the 2001 fantasy comedy, resulting in Fiona's stubborn nature coming out. She's frustrated that Lord Farquaad's plan was to have an ogre retrieve her from the prison, and she refuses to leave with Shrek. However, Shrek is stubborn, too, and in an attempt to convince her to come with him and Donkey willingly, Shrek hilariously claims he's a delivery boy, not a messenger boy.

Related Shrek Set Up The Perfect Donkey Spinoff Story Over 20 Years Ago A Donkey spin-off may be in production soon at Dreamworks and such an addition will likely pull from the original 2001 Shrek for its new storyline.

18 "Like That's Ever Gonna Happen."

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In the introduction to the first Shrek movie, the titular character reads from a storybook that foretells a brave knight going on an epic quest and discovering true love. He then tears a page out of the book while laughing. This proceeds one of the most memed movie intros of all time. Shrek throws open the door to an outhouse and saunters out while Smash Mouth's iconic song "Rockstar" plays in the background in Shrek. This immediately sets the tone for the entire franchise and makes Shrek a lovable and hilarious character.

17 "I'm An Ogre! You Know, 'Grab Your Torch And Pitchforks!'"

Shrek

When Shrek first meets Donkey, he's floored by the fact that Donkey doesn't seem to care that he's an ogre. What ties Shrek to Toy Story is that they both revolve around an iconic duo who initially don't get along, but, after going on an incredible adventure together, they become the best of friends. In Toy Story, that duo is Woody and Buzz. In Shrek, it's Shrek and Donkey. They do have slightly different relationships, however. While Buzz and Woody are apprehensive of one another, Donkey instantly accepts Shrek, even if Shrek is reluctant to open up to him.

16 "Hello, They Locked You In A Tower!"

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One of the biggest hurdles Shrek faces in the sequel is meeting Fiona's parents — and this scene sparks one of the best Shrek quotes. After returning from their honeymoon, the two are invited to Far, Far Away, and Shrek reluctantly accepts. After the journey, they approach the castle. As King Harold and Queen Lillian are horrified at who their daughter has brought home, Shrek desperately tries to get Fiona to take him back to the swamp. When Fiona interjects that they're her parents, Shrek rightfully shoots back "Hello, they locked you in a tower!"