The Office: 20 Best Creed Bratton Quotes

Summary Creed Bratton is a mysterious character with bizarre quotes, adding humor and intrigue to The Office.

Creed convinced Michael not to fire him in season 2, leading to more iconic Creed Bratton quotes.

Creed's random and unprompted quotes about his past hint at a mysterious and unconventional lifestyle.

Some of the best moments from The Office include Creed Bratton quotes. The character of Creed Bratton is mysterious to say the least. Usually a background character, it isn't found out until season 3 that Creed's actual job at Dunder Mifflin has to do with quality assurance, and he isn't even truly sure what his role is there. All that is truly known about Creed was that he was a hippie in the '60s and has worked for Dunder Mifflin for quite some time. Otherwise, Creed throws in some truly bizarre quotes from time to time that let audiences know he's a quiet force to be reckoned with.

Funnily enough, Creed was almost fired from The Office in season 2. The Office creator Greg Daniels needed to let one background character go, and decided to have Creed and Devon (Devon Abner) battle it out by filming Michael fire both employees in season 2, episode 5, "Halloween," to see who deserved a place on the series. Creed hilariously convinced Michael not to fire him, and he remained on the show for the rest of its run. Had he gotten the axe in season 2, viewers wouldn't have been graced with the sheer amount of iconic Creed Bratton quotes that have come from The Office.

Related 10 The Office Side Characters Who Stole The Show The Office mainly focuses on the employees at Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton branch, but there are a few other characters who leave their mark.

20 "I've Done A Lot More For A Lot Less."

Season 6, Episode 24, "The Cover-Up"

Creed is not one of the typical characters who gets brought into the pranks of The Office, mostly because he doesn't seem like he knows what is going on in a normal day. However, that cluelessness actually serves him well when Darryl decides to have fun with Andy who suspects he is being targeted as a whistleblower. Andy is freaked out when Creed makes a slashing motion to his throat while walking by.

The moment is followed up by Creed explaining to the camera that Darryl paid him three dollars to do it. Not only does Creed not question the request at all and call Darryl "Darnell," but he suggests that he is a chump for paying three dollars. He admits he would have done it for anything before alluding to the other things he did in the past. The fact that he did it all for less than three dollars is even more concerning.

19 "Just Pretend Like We're Talking Until The Cops Leave."

Season 5, Episode 9, "Frame Toby"

The so-called "talking heads" moments in The Office, when the cast members talk directly to the camera, are one of the most important aspects of the show. It is also fun when the show finds new ways to approach this gimmick. In the episode "Frame Toby," the police respond to a tip that someone in the office is hiding drugs. While Toby is the target of the false information, it is not surprising that Creed thinks they are there for him.

His antsy reaction to them being in the office is hilarious but made even funnier when the scene switches to Creed doing a talking head interview in the conference room. With a fake smile he instructs the documentary crew to help cover for him until the cops leave. The implication that Creed is hiding drugs in the office isn't shocking, but it is funny that he attempts to hide this fact from the cops by talking to a documentary crew.

18 "I’ve Been Involved In A Number Of Cults, Both As A Leader And A Follower. You Have More Fun As A Follower. But You Make More Money As A Leader."

Season 4, Episode 1, "Fun Run"

The reason Creed quotes are so hysterical is that they are mostly known for being completely unprompted, out of nowhere, and end up being more confusing as he brings up tidbits about his life but never fully explains the entire story. In The Office season 4, episode 1, "Fun Run," Michael organizes a 5k for Meredith after she is bitten by a bat and has to get rabies shots.

In a non-sequitur moment, Creed claims to have been a part of several different cults over the years and has even led a few of them in his time. These Creed Bratton quotes, along with the time he told Andy that he kissed Squeaky Fromme, led to a fan theory that Creed was a part of the Manson family. Any other character saying this wouldn't be believable, but because it's Creed, there's a chance it's all true.

17 "Nobody Steals From Creed Bratton And Gets Away With It. The Last Person To Do This Disappeared. His Name? Creed Bratton."

Season 5, Episode 5, "Crime Aid"

In "Crime Aid" Michael and Holly accidentally leave the building unlocked after a nighttime rendezvous, leading to the office being burglarized. Therefore, Michael holds a fundraiser while frantically trying to throw the blame off of himself. The episode in question prompts one of the most memorable quotes from Creed.

Creed admits to the cameras that his real name isn't even Creed Bratton, and apparently, the real Creed Bratton stole from him so he either killed him and took on his identity, or he just stole his identity. Creed never fully explains what he means by this, and he says that he has another identity that he blames issues in his life on when the authorities come after Creed Bratton. This random line makes the audience wonder, yet again, what exactly Creed gets up to when he's not in the office.

16 "If My Parents See This, I'm Toast."

Season 9, Episode 22, "A.A.R.M."

Contrary to popular belief, there are plenty of good episodes of The Office after Michael Scott left. The two-part episode just before the series finale sees the documentary finally preparing to see the light of day. As the documentary the crew has been making about Dunder Mifflin prepares to air, Creed becomes worried when he's told that it's going to air that night.

He pauses and gets scared, saying that his parents are going to be so upset when they see this documentary air on television. The joke is the fact that Creed's parents are even still alive and care what their grown adult son is up to. However, Creed's parents actually make an appearance in The Office, season 8, episode 24, "Free Family Portrait Studio." It's a typical Creed quote that is hilarious and yet really doesn't make sense.

Related The Office’s 10 Best Cold Opens, Ranked Each episode of The Office starts with a cold open, and the show often delivers some of its funniest moments before the theme tune plays.

15 "The Only Difference Between Me And A Homeless Man Is This Job. I Will Do Whatever It Takes To Survive Like I Did When I Was A Homeless Man."

Season 3, Episode 20, "Product Recall"

The best Creed Bratton quotes have to do with his mysterious past, and this one takes the cake. Creed has a rich past that he alludes to in his quotes throughout the series, but the audience never gets a clear and full picture of Creed's life before he worked at the office or even what he does outside of office hours.

In The Office episode "Product Recall," Creed gets in hot water after being responsible for not performing quality assurance checks before reams of paper were delivered to a local high school that had lewd watermarks on them. He comes up with an elaborate plan, that involved getting someone else fired, so he doesn't have to take responsibility for the mistake and be able to keep his job. This particular Creed quote about the matter speaks to his own ambition and the lengths he'll go to do what he needs.

14 "And Of Course The One Year I Blow It Off, This Happens."

Season 3, Episode 20, "Product Recall"

Creed's failure to do his job as the quality assurance agent for the company puts Dunder Mifflin in jeopardy and it seems like the first time he is really concerned about his job. However, that doesn't mean Creed is ready to really take responsibility for what happened. As he explains to the camera crew, it is part of his job that every week he is meant to do a quality spot check of the products. He chalks it up to bad luck that something bad happened on the one year he decided not to do it.

It is a great quote that highlights the strange perception of his job that Creed has. He sees it as totally acceptable to blow off work for a year which perhaps helps to explain how he has the time to partake in some of his more bizarre activities that are hinted at throughout the series.

13 "Really, What Do I Do Here? I Should Have Written It Down."

Season 4, Episode 14, "Goodbye Toby"

While Creed apparently doesn't see a problem in blowing off his quality assurance job for years at a time, it turns out he doesn't really have a good grasp on what that job actually is. When Holly, the new human resources officer, arrives at the Scranton Branch, she begins getting to know everyone. When she introduces herself to Creed, he is polite and welcoming, but when she asks what he does at the office, he quickly excuses himself.

Creed is then shown hiding in the break room and complaining about Holly's questioning. He finally admits he doesn't even remember what his job title is and laments not writing it down. He is aware enough to know it starts with the letter Q, but he just starts making up Q words, hoping it will come to him. How he was able to remain employed for so long despite not knowing his job speaks to how the office is run.

12 "Not Bad For A Day In The Life Of A Dog Food Company."

Season 9, Episode 1, "New Guys"

As the series continues, Creed's understanding of the job that he has seems to diminish. This becomes hilariously clear in the first episode of the final season of the show. Attempting to show up the new employees of the office, Dwight attempts to bike across a tightrope and ends up having to be rescued by the fire department. As Creed sums up the day to the camera, he remarks that it was an eventful one for a humble dog food company.

Creed went from understanding that an aspect of his job was quality assurance of their paper products to not even knowing what business Dunder Mifflin is in. It is a hilarious way to kick off the final season with everyone getting ready to say goodbye to the place they have come to love while Creed never really knew where he was in the first place.

11 "I Am Not Offended By Homosexuality. In The '60s, I Made Love To Many Women, Often Outdoors In The Mud And Rain. It’s Possible A Man Could’ve Slipped In There. There’d Be No Way Of Knowing."

Season 3, Episode 1, "Gay Witch Hunt"

In The Office episode "Gay Witch Hunt," Michael wrongly tells the entire office that Oscar is gay. This faux-pas creates commentary throughout the episode on each employee's personal views on homosexuality, including Creed's completely accepting view. Creed, again, brings up tidbits about his past life, including his sex life in the 1960s, that evokes the 60s mentality of free love — and it seems completely in character for Creed to have been part of the movement.

While there are more romantic quotes in The Office, Creed's take on making love in such a matter-of-fact way is hilarious. The fact that he sees it as entirely possible and unavoidable that he might have had sex with a man shows just how wild his life was back in the day. However, it seems these experiences made him more open-minded than others in the office.

10 "I Already Won The Lottery. I Was Born In The U-S Of A, Baby."

Season 8, Episode 3, "Lotto"

Some of the best Creed quotes come from lines that seem completely out of character for his bizarre take on the world. When the warehouse workers win the lottery in The Office season 8, episode 3, the ripple effect reaches the office workers, who begin to wonder what they would do with the money if they were to win the lottery.

Each of the office mates sits around fantasizing about their rich dreams, and Andy can't seem to get them to get back to work. Creed is the only person who isn't interested in winning the lottery — because, by his logic, he already won the lottery by being born in the United States of America. However, he follows it up by saying that he has a Swiss passport as a backup plan, completely negating the out-of-character patriotic views he just said.

Related 10 The Office Side Characters Who Stole The Show The Office mainly focuses on the employees at Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton branch, but there are a few other characters who leave their mark.

9 "I've Never Owned A Refrigerator Before."

Season 2, Episode 22, "Casino Night"

One of the funniest episodes of The Office, "Casino Night" is really when Creed began to worm his way into the foreground of the cast, as the installment contains a couple of the best Creed Bratton quotes. In episode 22 of season 2, the memorable "Casino Night," the person with the most chips at the end of the night gets a mini-fridge courtesy of Vance Refrigeration.

Creed Bratton immediately puts his plan into action and starts cheating and stealing to get to the top. He wins the fridge, at which point Creed makes the bizarre declaration that he's never owned a refrigerator before. The fact that the episode revealed Creed's remorseless love of stealing was funny enough, but this quote also began to suggest that there were some odd aspects of Creed's life that needed to be explored further.

8 "We Should Hang Out By The Quarry And Throw Things Down There."

Season 5, Episode 9, "Frame Toby"

Though he seems to do very little while he is at the office, Creed's activities in his free time have always been fascinating. It's a good bet that he commits some kind of crime, but not all the time when he's outside of the office. He may well have admitted to one of his preferred activities with one of the more bizarre Creed quotes in The Office season 5, episode 9, "Frame Toby."

In the episode, Jim buys a new house and reveals to his coworkers that it is near the local quarry. Also in the break room at the time, Creed immediately perks up. "Cool beans," he says, before launching into a friendly invitation to hang out by the quarry and throw things down there. It is a hilarious moment that adds to Jim's mounting worries about the house he has chosen.

Related 15 Worst Episodes Of The Office, Ranked The Office was such a well-written comedy romp that most episodes were a blast. But even the iconic show had its fair share of "bad episodes."

7 "Later, Skater."

Season 4, Episode 2, "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"

The Office episode "Dunder Mifflin Infinity" sees Michael Scott trying to thwart Ryan's plans for bringing Dunder Mifflin into the 21st century after Creed frightens him by suggesting that this movement means everyone over 40 will be fired. Creed Bratton is of retirement age, as he reveals to Jan before the Rabies Fun Run.

When Ryan becomes the Dunder Mifflin VP and starts bringing in new ideas to make the company younger, Creed tries to make himself seem younger. His solution is to use all the black ink in the copier to dye his hair, and in one of the funniest Creed Bratton quotes, he one-ups himself by going to the vending machine, asking if they can get some Redbull, doesn't wait for a response and turns to Ryan and says, "Later, Skater." In Creed's mind, this was a flawless interpretation of a young person.

Season 2, Episode 18, "Take Your Daughter To Work Day"

The Office episode "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" sees many of the workers in the office taking part in the annual activity of introducing a new generation of workers to their parents' jobs. Everyone in the office pitches in, trying to show the kids something cool to keep them entertained. While Creed offers one of the most interesting aspects of the day, he also quickly reminds everyone why he is not someone who should be talking to kids.

When the kids come over to his desk, Creed offers to let them see something cool, his own foot, which naturally only has four toes on it. Most of the children think it's a gross idea, but Meredith's son is enthused by the prospect of seeing Creed's foot. Unfortunately for him and the audience, the kids are pulled away before Creed can confirm this fact.

5 "If I Can't Scuba, Then What's This All Been About?"

Season 6, Episode 1, "Gossip"

The Office episode "Gossip" saw Michael once again trying to fix his mistakes of gossiping about the fact that Stanley is having an affair, only to throw a bunch of other random rumors into the mix to try and throw everyone off the scent. In an episode that outed Pam's pregnancy, Stanley's affair, and Michael being a Calvin Klein model, perhaps the most troubling rumor to spring up about anyone was Creed, who was rumored to have asthma.

A frantic Creed goes into a panicking fit, trying to root out the source of this most dastardly rumor. "Did one of you tell Stanley that I have asthma? 'Cause I don't. If this gets out they won't let me scuba. If I can't scuba, then what's this all been about?" Aside from the obvious reaction to learning that Creed is learning to scuba, the audience has to admire just how passionate he is about his future in it. The fact that he never reveals what "all this" has to do with scuba diving and also never mentions scuba again in the series makes it a hilariously random moment.

4 "Who's Your Worm Guy?"

Season 6, Episode 8, "Koi Pond"

What makes Creed one of the most quotable characters on the show is that many of his lines lack any clarification and are funny for how detached they are. When Michael falls in a koi pond and kills one of the fish in The Office season 6, episode 8, "Koi Pond," he's billed for $300. Michael complains that he can catch the fish himself for a five-cent worm.

Always wanting to be helpful, Creed makes it clear that Michael pays way too much for his "worms," before asking, "who's your worm guy?" It is hilarious that Creed would think that five cents is some kind of huge ripoff that needs to be remedied. It adds another Creed mystery to The Office about the purpose of a "worm guy." Given that the episode "Beach Day" sees Creed effortlessly snatching a fish out of the water with his bare hands, it suggests he might have another use for worms.

3 "Then I'll Have Two Chairs, Only One To Go."

Season 4, Episode 10, "The Chair Model"

Despite having no real interest or seemingly the skills for his work, Creed always has some bigger plan going on behind the scenes. Like with his scuba diving, it is funnier that the viewers are only given clues with Creed never feeling the need to explain things through. In season 4, episode 10, "The Chair Model," Michael is seeking a replacement chair, but naturally, he can't make it easy.

Pam is waiting to get Michael's old chair because her chair has fallen into disrepair. Though the chair is unacceptable for Pam, it is apparently just what Creed has been looking for. According to Creed, when he gets Pam's old chair, then he'll have two chairs. "Only one to go." What Creed could possibly need three chairs for is a mystery, but he seems to know what he's doing.

2 "It's Halloween, That Is Really, Really Good Timing."

Season 9, Episode 5, "Here Comes Treble"

In one of Creed Bratton's most iconic moments, and one of the many things that point to Creed being the Scranton Strangler instead of Toby, he shows up to work in a bloodstained shirt. There have always been suspicions about what kinds of crimes Creed Bratton has committed, and murder has never been ruled out. It seems a step too far even for him but one episode really showcases the lengths he likely went.

However, when he actually does appear with possible evidence all over him, it's Halloween — which Creed didn't know until he showed up to work. Then, in front of the cameras, it dawns on him what day it is. "It's Halloween. That is really, really good timing," he says with a smile. It is a hilarious bit of dark humor for the show as it seems to actually suggest that Creed did commit some sort of violent act.

1 "I Stopped Caring A Long Time Ago."

Season 2, Episode 22, "Casino Night"

One of the best Creed quotes around also came about in "Casino Night" and Creed truly dominates from the background even with so many more important events going on around him. Creed has always been one of the most memorable characters in The Office, and his sobering self-aware admission of why he has such a bizarre philosophy when it comes to living life summarizes why in seven words.

In The Office's "Casino Night" installment, Creed is filmed by the documentary crew as he steals chips. Not only does he not care about being caught but he shows no remorse for doing it. His reason—"I stopped caring a long time ago." If there was one line that summed up Creed Bratton as a character, this would be it and it helps to cement him as one of the strangest characters on The Office.