SpongeBob SquarePants: 20 Squidward Quotes We Can All Relate To

Summary Squidward's quotes in SpongeBob Squarepants are relatable to adults, reflecting frustration with everyday annoyances and stresses of life.

Throughout the series, Squidward's blunt comments and sarcastic remarks showcase his disdain for SpongeBob and Patrick's carefree attitudes.

Despite his constant complaints, Squidward often finds himself in situations where he reluctantly engages with SpongeBob and his antics, leading to humorous outcomes.

When it comes to SpongeBob SquarePants, the Squidward quotes are often highlights of every episode. Since the cartoon premiered in 1999, Squidward has been the straight man to SpongeBob's ridiculous fun-loving hero. However, this has also caused a lot of problems between the two. While SpongeBob seems to always want to have fun and seems a little oblivious to the serious side of life, Squidward is someone who just wants to be left alone and has little time for foolishness. That puts them at odds more often than not.

This also leads Squidward to deliver some great quotes that are often relatable to the adults who view the show. Even in new Spongebob Squarepants seasons, the best thing about Squidward in these situations is that, even though few people can relate to him as a character, he often says things that remain relatable to anyone who has been in a similar situation in real life. Squidward is easily the stand-in for anyone who is tired of the everyday grind and just wants to say what is on their mind.

Related SpongeBob SquarePants Theory: The Characters Are The Seven Deadly Sins A popular theory links SpongeBob SquarePants characters to the biblical seven deadly sins. Here's the SpongeBob seven sins theory explained in full.

20 "You Don’t Know How Happy I Am To See You Guys"

Season 1, Episode 14a - "SB-129"

In the SpongBob Squarepants season 1 episode "SB-129", Squidward is doing everything he can to avoid SpongeBob on their shared day off. This is easier said than done, since SpongeBob is his neighbor and is relentless when it comes to trying to spend time with Squidward. Eventually, Squidward goes to the closed Krusty Krab and hides in the freezer when SpongeBob arrives looking for him.

However, somehow, Squidward ends up frozen in a block of ice for 2,000 years. He finally comes out and realizes that he can finally be himself, play his clarinet, and not worry about SpongeBob. With that said, what replaced SpongeBob is primitives that are worse in every way. Luckily, he finds a time machine and gets back home where he realizes his life might suck, but it could always be worse. This Squidward quote is so funny because being happy to see SpongBob is perhaps the last thing viewers expect him to be.

19 "It’s Just A Cruel Reminder That I’m Single And Likely To Remain That Way Forever."

Season 7, Episode 151b - "Love That Squid"

Squidward feels so relatable to many because it seems that, in almost everything he tries, he fails — including when it comes to romance. In the SpongeBob SquarePants season 7 episode "Love That Squid", Squidward has a special moment when he gets to go out on a date with someone. The best part is that it happened after he hit a point of self-loathing. For anyone who has gone too long with a poor dating life, it is easy to let the world get them down.

While his date was not the best, at least he had a chance to prove that his self-pity wasn't always warranted.

Early in the episode, Squidward has a book called "Squid Love" and after he sees two people find love because they are both illiterate and have that in common, he delivers this self-scathing line. Luckily, while his date was not the best, at least he had a chance to prove that his self-pity wasn't always warranted.

18 "When I Die, You Stay Away From My Funeral"

Season 3, Episode 43a - "Just One Bite"

Squidward is rarely in the mood for something new, and he is even less willing to try something if SpongeBob is who suggests it. Despite working at the Krusty Krab, Squidward refuses to eat there. This becomes the subject of the SpongeBob SquarePants season 3 episode "Just One Bite." When SpongeBob wants Squidward to try a Krabby Patty, Squidward does everything he can to avoid it.

However, as usual, SpongeBob simply sees Squidward's rejection as an invitation to try harder. When SpongeBob becomes relentless, Squidward finally gives in. Of course, he won't go out without being a little facetious, as he agrees to try it but demands that SpongeBob stay away from his funeral if the burger kills him.

17 "It’s Almost As If The Evolutionary Clock Ticks Backward"

Season 5, Episode 99a - "The Two Faces of Squidward"

It's easy to relate to someone who realizes the people they work with make their job more annoying and difficult than it ever needed to be — and few characters in TV history have been annoyed more by their coworkers than Squidward is by Spongebob. On SpongeBob SquarePants, Squidward bemoans every day he goes to work because it means he'll be in direct contact with his irritating neighbor.

Squidward responds with this insult directed at SpongeBob and Patrick, but he ends up paying for it

When the SpongeBob SquarePants season 5 episode "The Two Faces of Squidward" starts, Squidward is trying to work while SpongeBob sings incessantly to him and won't stop. Squidward responds with this insult directed at SpongeBob and Patrick, but he ends up paying for it when he winds up in the hospital after a freak accident involving the annoying fry cook.

16 "I Knew I Shouldn’t Have Gotten Out Of Bed Today"

Season 5, Episode 100a - "Banned In Bikini Bottom"

There are always days when someone realizes that things have gone so bad that life would have been easier if they had just stayed in bed. This seems to be most days for Squidward, which is why viewers (especially adult ones) find him to be among the most relatable SpongeBob SquarePants characters.

Considering he works with the ever-irksome SpongeBob SquarePants, regretting getting out of bed is probably a regular occurence for Squidward. In the season 5 episode "Banned In Bikini Bottom", one of the first things that happens is SpongeBob at work singing while working, and then he knocks Squidward over and destroys all his stacked cups. Squidward then breaks the fourth wall, stares into the camera, and delivers this very familiar line.

15 "Picture Him Naked. Oh My God, He's Hot"

Season 3, Episode 48b - "Squilliam Returns"

Squilliam is a recurring character in SpongeBob SquarePants, and perhaps the only person who irritates Squidward more than Spongebob, though for entirely different reasons. Squidward gets so stressed out being in Squilliam's presence that he resorts to imagining him without clothing. A common tactic that people have said worked to ease any nerves one may have had in a stressful situation was to picture those looking at them as naked. In reality, this isn't effective, especially when the people they look at appear to be more attractive than themselves.

To his horror, Squidward discovered that Squilliam was good-looking when declothed in his imagination.

This happened to Squidward when trying to picture his rival Squilliam Fancyson naked to calm him down. To his horror, Squidward discovered that Squilliam was good-looking when declothed in his imagination. It played well into the two halves of Squidward — one that is arrogant and one that has always had lower self-esteem.

Related Is SpongeBob SquarePants Secretly About Mental Illness? A fan theory suggests that the main characters of SpongeBob SquarePants represent different mental illnesses – here's everything about it.

14 "Here, Please Hit Me As Hard As You Can"

Season 2, Episode 36a - "The Graveyard Shift"

In stressful work situations, some employees may feel the urge to engage in irrational behaviors. For example, if an employee finds out they have to redo work they thought was already completed, they may jokingly ask a coworker to hit them with a baseball bat. Since Squidward is a restaurant employee, dealing with difficult customers who are asking endless questions made him want to be hit with a bat rather than continue the interaction.

This is how Squidward normally feels at work, thanks to SpongeBob, and in the season 2 episode "The Graveyard shift, he acted on it. It's one of the many moments Squidward was a relatable character, as many viewers have likely felt the same at various points throughout their own career.

13 "I Have No Soul"

Season 3, Episode 43b - "The Bully"

Everyone makes mistakes and engages in regrettable behavior at some point in life. When faced with past transgressions, people have two options: they can take responsibility, or they can rationalize their actions by detaching themselves from morality. In this SpongeBob SquarePants quote from the season 3 episode "The Bully", Squidward takes the latter approach by claiming he has no soul.

This is also a meta-quote since Squidward is an animated fictional character and clearly doesn't have a soul.

While said in jest, proclaiming one has no soul can reflect a tendency towards avoiding shame and accountability. It's especially funny coming from Squidward too, since it's completely believable that he believes himself to be without a soul or, at the very least, would think edgy comments like this are threatening. Of course, this is also a meta-quote since Squidward is an animated fictional character and clearly doesn't have a soul.

12 "What's Going To Happen? Am I Gonna Blow Up?"

Season 3, Episode 43b - "The Bully"

The SpongeBob SquarePants season 3 episode "The Bully" contains more than one memorable and highly relatable Squidward quote. When Squidward finally succumbs to the delight of eating a Krabby Patty, SpongeBob warns him to be careful. Never one to treat anything SpongeBob says or does with a reaction other than disdain, Squidward snaps at the warning.

While Squidward may look down on his co-worker even at the best of times, it's clear that SpongeBob has a much greater level of self control when it comes to Krabby Pattys. As Squidward continued to grow and grow, it seemed like SpongBob's advice about the seemingly addictive burgers might actually have been 100% warranted. He loved something a little too much, which is always a Squidward weakness. This was also an important SpongeBob SquarePants episode that dealt with the deep issues of addiction.

11 "What Are Those Neanderthals Doing? Can't They See I'm Spoiling Myself?"

Season 4, Episode 63 - "Have You Seen This Snail?"

Neighbors can either be helpful friends, neutral, or annoying lifeforms that stress everyone out. Unfortunately, Squidward's neighbors consist of SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star. Just when he was ready to spoil himself after a long day's work, these annoying neighbors would often interrupt Squidward's peace, and they were the last people in the world he wanted to speak to in his free time.

Referring to the pair as Neanderthals in the SpongeBob SquarePants season 4 episode "Have You Seen This Snail" sums up his feelings for them perfectly.

While SpongeBob and Patrick had a good reason for wanting to get Squidward's attention, he had much better ideas in mind than bothering with those two. Squidward's dislike of SpongeBob and Patrick are often the source of some of his best and most relatable quotes, and referring to the pair as Neanderthals in the SpongeBob SquarePants season 4 episode "Have You Seen This Snail" sums up his feelings for them perfectly.

10 "I Order The Food, You Cook The Food. The Customer Gets The Food"

Season 3, Episode 2 - "Club SpongeBob/My Pretty Seahorse"

With increasing work demands and less separation between work life and home life, many people have a lot of work-related anxiety. Lower wages have also led many to believe that they will never feel financially stable and will be working up until lunch on the day that they die. For that reason, many can identify with this Squidward quote, in which SpongeBob explains the finer points of the Krusty Krab business model to SpongeBob.

In the season 3 episode "Club SpongBob", Squidward succinctly sums up his feelings toward his menial job with a sentiment that many adult SpongeBob SquarePants viewers can relate to. He addresses the mundaneness and repetition of his everyday life and the feeling that he is working to survive and surviving to work. What is best is that he sees the end as being "and then we die."

9 "Too Bad That Didn't Kill Me"

Season 2, Episode 15 - "That Secret Box/Band Geeks"

Though most people don't actually want to die, everyone is guilty of muttering the phrase "just kill me" occasionally. This is particularly common in a situation where things could have ended worse than they did. If one has ever been in a situation where one has been seriously injured or so upset or shocked that it felt like one could have died, then this Squidward quote is certainly applicable.

Throughout the history of SpongeBob SquarePants, this has been a position Squidward found himself in more than once

Sadly, throughout the history of SpongeBob SquarePants, this has been a position Squidward found himself in more than once, including here in one of the best SpongeBob SquarePants episodes of all time. Squidward often expresses that he'd be much happier were he dead isntead of in the presence of SpongeBob, but this moment in the season 2 episode "That Secret Box/Band Geeks" is without a doubt one of the funniest.

Related How Old Is SpongeBob SquarePants? His Real Age Explained Cartoon logic states that characters don't age, but SpongeBob SquarePants' birthdate has been shown before... and it's confusing. Let's take a look.

8 "Oh, It's Days Like This That Make Me Wish I Had Gone To College"

Season 3, Episode 53 - "New Student Starfish/Clams"

For years, college was considered the only way to have a successful life. In recent years, the narrative has begun to shift, and more individuals are choosing to instead attend trade skills and learn specific schools. It is important to have a path to follow, no matter what the path is. Some individuals often get stuck in service industries that don't pay them well or give them the benefits and protections they deserve.

This is where Squidward ended up, and there are more times than he might like to consider when his life at his job is not the final destination he once dreamed of. What makes this Squidward quote from SpongeBob SquarePants season 3 so funny, however, is that the snooty cephalopod often acts like he's superior to those around him. The reveal that Squidward has more-or-less the same level of education as SpongeBob shows just how unwarranted his attitude truly is.

7 "That Was My Cheese. It's Supposed To Smell Like That, Kelp For Brains!"

Season 6, Episode 107b - "No Nose Knows"

Everyone has been in a situation where they are shocked by the lack of culture of those around them. This is how Squidward lives his life, as he feels he is more couth, mature, and sophisticated than everyone around him — even though he often proves he isn't all that he thinks he is. This extends to his diet, which seems incredibly pretentious, especially when it comes to his taste in cheese in the SpongeBob SquarePants season 6 episode "No Nose Knows."

Any cheese lover will understand the aggravation that comes with others believing the cheese has gone bad due to the stench, as many high-end cheeses are especially pungent.

Squidward was outraged when SpongeBob threw away his cheese because of the smell. Any cheese lover will understand the aggravation that comes with others believing the cheese has gone bad due to the stench, as many high-end cheeses are especially pungent.

6 "I Hate All Of You"

Season 1, Episode 14 - "SB-129/Karate Choppers"

This highly relatable Squidward quote from SpongeBob SquarePants season 1 also sums up the core of his character — he is a man with a disdain for almost everyone he interacts with, whether justified or otherwise, which is why his character is often both funny and easy to relate to. Everyone has been in a situation where they are completely annoyed with everyone surrounding them.

Whether it be at work where one feels as though they are surrounded by less intelligent individuals or with their family where they feel their individuality isn't appreciated or acknowledged, one has certainly thought "I hate all of you" at one point in their lives. For Squidward, this seems to happen almost every single day of his life, and he has said a version of this line to SpongeBob more times than most viewers can count.

5 "Well, It Wouldn't Be The First Time You Ruined Everything"

Season 1, Episode 14 - "SB-129/Karate Choppers"

SpongeBob and Patrick are constantly interrupting Squidward's plans. Though he secretly loves them, he can't help but feel frustrated with them as they have no boundaries. In some ways, it's as though Patrick and SpongeBob are Squidward's children, constantly barging in on him. He's often frustrated by their antics, and the melodramatic way he chooses to express this (such as in season 1's "Karate Choppers") often makes for some of the best Squidward quotes.

Though Squidward's lack of success isn't always Patrick and SpongeBob's fault, he is always quick to blame them for his shortcomings.

Though Squidward's lack of success isn't always Patrick and SpongeBob's fault, he is always quick to blame them for his shortcomings. This is natural as humans are often looking for someone else to blame. Everyone has one person or thing they feel holds them back, so everyone can relate to this Squidward quote in one of the scariest SpongeBob episodes.

4 "Please Come Again. When I'm Not Working"

Season 2, Episode 23b - "Bubble Buddy"

This Squidward quote from the SpongeBob SquarePants seaosn 2 episode "Bubble Buddy" is particularly relatable for workers in the service industry. These workers deal with numerous individuals coming in and out. Though they are required to be polite, often inviting them back again, there are definitely customers one does not want to see again.

This can also apply to professionals dealing with clients for which they don't particularly care. Sometimes, one wishes they could tell them to go away. Unfortunately, not everyone can be as bold as Squidward as he delivers a line many waiters and service industry professionals want to say every day.

3 "Wake Me Up When I Care"

Season 6, Episode 119 - "Gullible Pants/Overbooked"

Squidward does not have the patience for nonsense — an unfortunate quality given that he lives between SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick, two of the biggest creators of nonsense ever seen on TV screens. He is quick to let others know when he doesn't find worth in what they are saying, regularly shutting others out. Given that SpongeBob and Patrick tend to spout almost nothing but nonsense, he finds himself telling the pair just how much what they're saying doesn't interest him almost all the time.

Given that SpongeBob and Patrick tend to spout almost nothing but nonsense, he finds himself telling the pair just how much what they're saying doesn't interest him almost all the time.

Everyone has moments when they are forced to listen to someone talk about something they don't care about. Whether it be sitting in a staff meeting or listening to the story an acquaintance is telling, there are moments when one just wants to tell someone to shut up. In this situation from the season 6 episode "Gullible Pants/Overbooked", Squidward had no problem once again saying what everyone else wished they could.

2 "Fortunately, I Have Enough Talent For All Of You"

Season 2, Episode 15 - "That Secret Box/Band Geeks"

Despite his many insecurities, Squidward is not a modest character. The SpongeBob SquarePants character has an air of superiority and regularly comments on his own talents. Though Squidward doesn't always have the skills to back up his assertions, many can appreciate his confidence.

Everyone is good at something, so in those situations, one often has to take the lead. However, Squidward is never one to do everyone's job for them without recognition, so he goes out of his way to let them know he is the one to thank. Whether it is playing his clarinet, using his over-inflated sense of intelligence, or any other number of things, Squidward is always overflowing with (often unwarranted) overconfidence.

1 "I Might As Well Sleep For 100 Years Or So"

Season 8 Episode 169a - "Are You Happy Now?"

The season 8 episode of SpongeBob SquarePants, "Are You Happy Now?", SpongeBob shows Squidward a book he has that has all his happiest memories written in it. Sadly, when he asks Squidward for his happiest memory, Squidward admits he has never had one. This is one of several melodramatic SpongeBob SquarePants quotes from Squidward that, while a little over-the-top, many viewers find they can related to at one time or another in their lives.

In the end, he says he never wanted a happy memory, destroys everything SpongeBob made for him, and shockingly realizes this is his happiest memory now.

Still, in the episode, Squidward's admission leads SpongeBob to take him out to find a happy memory, but when all fails as SpongeBob's attempts are actually terrible for Squidward. Squidward decides he just wants to sleep until the end and then die. Humorously, in the end, he says he never wanted a happy memory, destroys everything SpongeBob made for him, and shockingly realizes this is his happiest memory now.

SpongeBob SquarePants Where to Watch *Availability in US stream

rent

buy Not available Not available Not available Spongebob Squarepants is an animated comedy created by Stephen Hillenburg and starring voices from Tom Kenny, Bill Fagerbakke, and Rodger Bumpass. The series revolves around a sea sponge that goes on many misadventures with his friends Patrick, Squidward, and Sandy Cheeks in the lands of Bikini Bottom and the surrounding sea. Cast Tom Kenny , Bill Fagerbakke , Rodger Bumpass , Clancy Brown , Carlos Alazraqui , Paul Tibbitt , Dee Bradley Baker , Jill Talley , Tim Conway , Sara Paxton , Mark Fite , Mary Jo Catlett , Tom Wilson , Sirena Irwin , Lori Alan , Ernest Borgnine , Mr. Lawrence , Carolyn Lawrence Release Date May 1, 1999 Seasons 14 Network Nickelodeon Franchise(s) SpongeBob SquarePants Showrunner Vincent Waller , Marc Ceccarelli Expand