Mother / Father: an exercise from the very early days in Poona

Madhuri remembers a meditation / healing technique. Maybe to be experimented with again?

That first monsoon I was in Poona, in 1974, I was living in Boat Club Road and spending all my time meditating in the ashram. There were meditation camps, but no therapy groups yet; instead, people did exercises Osho had given them, or got together for informal explorations, like Madness Meditation. I remember one exercise that was doing the rounds, and I think it was originally from Osho. As a new meditator, I was grappling with intense emotion coming up from my childhood, so this technique really drew me.

The theory (I think)

If you do it over, this time rightly, it will heal you, as well as bringing up all kinds of stuff from those early times that can then be gotten out in Dynamic or other emotional release. And awareness will be brought to the whole phenomenon of parenting and baby-ness. If we don’t face this early material, we can’t grow up!

The Method

Find a woman who is willing to role play as a mother.

Mark the beginning of the exercise clearly: a gong or bell. Or clap 3 times.

For 15 minutes, you are a baby and she holds you, rocks you, nurses you at her breast, cares for you.

When 15 minutes are up, let gong or bell or 3 claps signal the end of the role-play.

Then, thank her, and share how it was for you, and she shares how it was for her.

After a gap of some days, perhaps, find a man who is willing to be your father. For 15 minutes, be a baby in the embrace of your dad. Signal the beginning and end with gong or bell or clapping thrice.

Thank him, and both of you can share.

You can repeat the exercise as many times as you like, with the same or different moms and dads.

My experience

I had shaved not only my head but every other part of my body, so I definitely felt like a baby! I only remember doing each one of these, Mom and Dad, once, though there might have been more… I seem to remember thinking it would be easy to find people to do the exercise with, and then it turned out not to be so easy after all.

I asked a German woman, quite soft and cushiony, to be my mother, and she agreed. This did not go well: I was extremely hungry for some indulgent mothering, and I could feel the woman’s reluctance. She just wasn’t really into it! She was holding me, but holding back. (Perhaps we had all come to Poona in part to escape exactly that sort of responsibility!) This was frustrating!

I think Devananda, my best friend at the time, played my dad. And I don’t remember anything about it! But he was nice and kindly and funny, so he would have been a good dad.

In fact, I don’t think we all shared after the exercise in the way I’ve described above – I stuck that on myself because it looked like a good idea. I think we just jumped in and did it and then escaped. We were just starting out!

Featured image credit to Jordan Whitt: unsplash.com