Mental Health Tips for Caregiving for an Older Parent

Mental Health Tips for Caregiving for an Older Parent

Caring for a parent can be one of the most rewarding experiences in one’s life. It’s a time to give back the love and affection a parent once gave you, to heal old wounds and to commit an act of selflessness which can be deeply gratifying and fulfilling.

However, and this is a big however, on a day to day basis, caregiving for a parent can be one of the most challenging undertakings one can experience in a lifetime. It can aggravate past grievances, require a patience many of us lack, demand time we don’t have and expertise we don’t have.

Rarely does a facebook page replete with nostalgic pictures of hugs and kisses with mom and dad show you changing their diapers, washing their underwear, dabbing lunch from their chin, or convey the hurt of being hit, slapped, bitten, blamed or forgotten. Rarely, if ever do those pictures show the stress of being the sole person responsible for the life of another or the despair of watching the pain and suffering of someone you love dearly.

While caregiving can be an opportunity and honor, it can also be an anchor and a burden. But we can amplify one and minimize the other.

Signs You’re Stressed or Anxious

There is a difference between stress and anxiety. Stress is a reaction to an external cause and goes away once the situation is resolved. Think of an exam, competition or work project. Sometimes it’s a positive experience, causing us to focus more and work harder. Other times, we can have more of a negative reaction to stress and feel overwhelmed, procrastinate or feel unfocused. Sometimes it can bring us a serene calmness, other times we can get jumpy and rude.

Anxiety is a little bit different, in that it may or may not be caused by an external event, and typically does not end when that external event or threat is over. It’s with us all the time. It’s a black cloud of dread or nerves that follows us throughout the day and night and prevents us from living our life as we normally would.

Stress can sometimes be desired and is a natural response to an immediate threat or challenge. Anxiety is almost never wanted and interferes with our mood and ability to perform.

Managing Caregiver Mental Health

There are several things you can do to reduce the likelihood of caregiver stress negatively impacting your mental health.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Help can come from family members or professionals. Don’t let the burden of responsibility fall solely on your shoulders. Split responsibilities and days with siblings and spouses. Use that freed up time to do what you normally would like working, going to the gym, going out with friends, having a BBQ or playing cards.