Damn exams!

Genuine answers to questions in a GED (grade 12 equivalent) examination

Q: What is a turbine?

A: Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?

A: If you are buying a house, they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?

A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q; What are steroids?

A; Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A; Premature death.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow.

Q; How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. abdomen, etc)?

A: The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U.

Q: What is the fibula?

A: A small lie.

Q: What does ‘varicose’ mean?

A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?

A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q: Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’.

A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?

A: A Roman Emperor.

(The Julius Seizure of: “I came, I saw, I had a fit.”)

Q: What is a terminal illness?

A: When you are sick at the airport.

Q: What does the word ‘benign’ mean?

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Thanks to Bhagawati

Photo by Megumi Nachev on Unsplash